Lucha Things Episode 2: Attack Of The Clones + First Show

[magnusd]

We are backstage at the Stable Wars arena, where Rey Mysterio is passing on some of his extensive wrestling knowledge to his son Dominik. All of sudden, the colours disappear from view and the familiar theme of the nWo hits. Kevin Nash enters the room, followed by Scott Hall carrying a boom box, the source of the music.

KN: 'Okay man, you can switch it off. The sooner we have actual shows the better.'

Scott does the honours and notices they have company.

SH: 'Hey yo Rey. How you doing Walter?'

KN: 'I already told you man, that ain't Walter.'

SH: 'Oh yeah, he's Gunter now, right. Sorry.'

RM: 'What do you two want?'

KN: 'What did we want to ask them again?'

SH: 'Wasn't it something about a new guy?'

KN: 'That's it. Ladies, I've signed the hottest free agent in the world. And with his arrival, we can end this confusion once and for all. Hey man, get in here.'

A man enters and, oh boy, I don't think we even need to say who it is. But I will anyway. It's Walter, or Gunther or whoever he is now. I don't care anymore. Scott is about to say, something, but has to look back at Dominik and Walter a few times each.

SH: 'Kev, I'm seeing double here. Four Walters.'

KN: 'Not likely. Because this is the real Walter, right here.'

Kevin quickly realises, with the death glares everyone (except The Bad Guy) is giving him that's he's pointing at Dominik, so he moves his finger to the correct guy.

KN: 'Now, Rey, you're going to be the main event guy. We still need another singles star for whatever the secondary title is. And these two are going to be the tag team of the decade. All they need is a name. Any ideas?'

SH: 'How about Walter and Gunther?'

KN: 'Nah, it'd gotta be something besides their names. How about Stark Contrasts?'

W: 'We will not draw attention to that atrocity if you want my services.'

KN: 'Fair enough man. Any other ideas?'

SH: 'How about The Clones?

KN: 'I get it, 'cause they are obviously just clones of the same guy. It might just work'

DM: 'I hate you both so much.'

KN: 'Good. As a wise man once said, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to title belts. I'm done. Come on Scott, let's go see if Justin Credible's still alive.'

SH: 'Who?'

KN: 'You know, the guy with a jockstrap for a face.'

SH: 'Oh yeah, let's go.'

Scott presses play on the boom box and the Outsiders go outside of the room, as Rey and Dominik size up their new ally.

RM: 'I thought this was supposed to be a lucha group. Yet I'm the only luchador here.'

W: 'I can do a mean 619, especially when people call me Dominik Mysterio.'

DM: 'Can you teach me how to chop like you?'

W: 'You bet little man.'

They shake hands and get to training as we fade to black.



We return to see Magnus James, owner of NWA Stable Wars, at his desk.

MD: 'Wrestling fans, you've asked and you shall receive. Our debut show is coming out very soon, showcasing some of the new talent taking part in this exciting project. And, in the tradition of wrestling gone past, it will largely consist of enhancement matches and more skits that might or might not be hitting the mark. Here's a rundown of what you will see. In singles action, El Hijo De LA Park will take on, as I have been assured by Kevin Nash, 'the fourth lucha guy'. Based on their signings so far, that could be The Great Khali, but time will tell. Moving on, The Real Good Brothers, representing The Ministry, will take on Bear Country. The main event will be a match that could have taken place twenty years ago and will again today, as Rey Mysterio faces Juventud Guerrera. And we will have an exclusive interview with the third group to take part in Stable Wars, whoever they may be. Join us very soon for some actual matches, and not just a bunch of talking.'

[jp1985]

That was a really entertaining read. I got a good laugh out of the I'm seeing double, four Walters line. Walter comes off as a pretty serious guy so him doing comedy could have mixed results.

Some good matches there on the first card with Mysterio and Guerrera along being interesting to see in 2022. We see Rey every week and with the performance Juvi put on against Jericho on AEW last year, it's interesting to think about.

[joe]

You're only getting better with The Outsiders and capturing their voices, so that's great. This feels like old Paparazzi Productions stuff from TNA, when Nash was having so much fun, and I'm here for it.