Post by magnusd on Feb 24, 2022 18:10:27 GMT
(apologies if this show doesn't have the same in depth match writeups I did for the first one, but I've been pretty low on time this week. Hopefully the rest of the show balances this out)
NWA Stable Wars Show 2: Woo-Hoo
Our show opens, after many pyros and indoor fireworks, at the announce desk. Magnus James is at ringside alongside the leader of Lucha Things, "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash.
MJ: 'Wrestling fans, welcome to NWA Stables Wars. This week we are joined by Kevin Nash, who was on lucha business last week.
KN: 'Hey, what's up MJ.'
MJ: 'Kevin, I have to ask, there was some signs of discontent in your camp last week when you revealed Octagon Jr as your fourth member. Has the team now jelled?'
KN: 'Yeah, that's my bad, I can't tell one lucha guy from the next. But he won, Rey kicked Juvi's ass and Dominik ripped Samoa Joe a new one. We had a great week.'
MJ: 'I think you mean Walter.'
KN: 'Oh yeah. Well, they're basically the same guy so not a big deal.'
MJ: 'I don't think he'd appreciate that, but I'm sure he's used to the comparisons by now. We have an action packed hour filled with lots of wrestling action, so let's head to the ring to see The Bucks Of Youth take on Bear Country.'
KN: 'Vanilla midgets versus fat guys, my favourite.'
Match 1
The Bucks Of Youth (Matt Buck and Nick Buck) (w/ Broken Matt Hardy) vs Bear Country (Bear Boulder and Bear Bronson)
This ended up being a fairly standard extended showcase for the Bucks of Youth, albeit one where they had to rely more on their team work to counteract the size difference. Every time they tried to go it alone, Bear Country would simply overwhelm them with their size, but couldn't match the Bucks on team work. Matt Hardy largely did nothing, other than applauding some of the manoeuvres with cries of "Wonderful". The match ended with an inverted version of More Bang For Your Buck, with a DDT used to take down Bronson before he took the move and ate the pin.
Winners - The Bucks Of Youth
Post match, after the winners leave, Sheamus enters the arena. He doesn't work here! Or anywhere for that matter. He gets in the ring and he's saying something to Bear Country. Too bad they didn't mic the ring so we can hear them. He offers them a handshake and they tentatively accept, before leaving together. Whatever Sheamus said, he managed to convince them of something. We then return to the announce table.
MJ: 'A big win for the Bucks of Youth in their debut. And some interesting post match developments, with the arrival of Sheamus and his new alliance with Bear Country. Do you see them as a threat to Lucha Things?'
KN: 'Heh heh, that Matt Hardy. Priceless.'
MJ: 'You weren't paying any attention to the match, were you?'
KN: 'There was a match?'
MJ: 'I think that answers all my questions. Let's get back to the ring for our second match, involving The Army Of Truth. And Kevin, try not to just pay attention to R-Truth.'
KN: 'You can't tell me what to do (does crotch chop).
MJ: 'I miss D'Von.'
Match 2
The Army Of Truth (General E Awesome, Major Jimmy and Sgt Spyder) (w/Corporal Truth) vs Peter Avalon, Brandon Cutler and Michael Nakazawa
Corporal Truth gave some odd orders when it came to this match. He ordered that Major Jimmy and Sgt Spyder do not tag in, instead only getting involved when their makeshift opponents attempted any double or triple teams. And his faith in General E Awesome was repaid, as he looked strong and make light work of the opposition. One Skull Crushing Finale later and that was enough to put away Nakazaka.
Winners - The Army Of Truth
Post match, Corporal Truth leads everyone in a song. Yes, a song. It wasn't anything new or notable, however, but a recital of the Star Spangled Banner, with Truth butchering some of the lyrics. What was notable was Truth doing the entire thing without a microphone, again making me wish Stable Wars would invest in putting some kind of mic in that ring. Seriously, that's the second time I've had to say this in this recap. Get it together wrestling promoters. We return to the announce table.
MJ: 'The Army of Truth make it look easy as they pick up the win. Kevin, you can sit down now.'
KN: '(sits down) My bad bro. I just love my country and man can that guy sing. He's like one of those rapper guys.'
MJ: 'He was once a rapper guy. Now he thinks he's a general. I hope that the Army of Truth can convince him otherwise. In the meantime, let's take a look at a video sent to us by another faction coming to Stable Wars. And they dress to impress.'
We are at a country club of some kind. A quick overview of the facility shows a lot of old, grey haired millionaires, drinking scotch and forgetting the fact that their lives are rather empty. In a private room, we see one man siting by the fire. A familiar, well educated one. Damien Sandow.'
DS: 'Greetings. Thank you for joining me at this, the most privileged of clubs. It is certainly not the sort of place that the unwashed masses can attend. But that is not why I have brought you here. You want to know why I, the most esteemed intellectual in all of professional wrestling has chosen to declare his arrival in NWA Stable Wars. Some say that it is because the writer of this show has a character in his novel, who speaks in a formal manner not dissimilar to myself, and this provides practice for said character. That is of course complete balderdash. I am here of my own free will, to cleanse the National Wrestling Alliance and all of its subjects of their impurities.
But I do not do this alone. As dictated by the powers that be, I must forge alliances. This is something that I have done, seeking out old friends and prospects to aid in my endeavour. Let me introduce you to them via the magic of split screen.
First of all, I have located a most esteemed gentleman from the town of Kentucky. A 'Kentucky Gentleman' by the name of Chuck Taylor (a picture of Taylor is shown). He will be joined by his tag team partner, a man I do not hold in as high regard, but he is joining us regardless as a footman. That man is Trent Beretta (Beretta's picture is shown). Needless to say, only one of those men will be entering this club anytime soon.
Next, I located a man who I consider to be a future World champion. A man who has been hard done by, simply because he so happens to be married to a beautiful woman. And I will help him reach his full potential. He is none other than Michael Bennett (Bennett's photo is shown).
Finally, I have located both a prospect and a bodyguard. A man who will ensure that no harm will come to yours truly, whilst also possessing the values of truth, honesty and common decency. He is not just a man, but a bull, and will soon rule the NWA Stable Wars landscape. He was formerly known by a detestable name, not of his choice, which was Brooks Jensen. But now he is reborn as Dan "The Man" Buchanan! (Buchanan's photo is shown)
Our exchange of information is now complete, other than the name of this group. We are to be known as the Smartly Dressed Gentlemen. And we will become the top group in NWA Stable Wars. You are welcome.'
We return to the NWA Stable Wars arena, where our next match is about to begin.
Match 3
Darby Allin (w/ "Broken" Matt Hardy) vs Alexander Hammerstone
This match was, as you would expect, a battle of power versus speed. Hammerstone made a big impression in this one, attacking Allin before the bell and tossing his around like a rag doll. He was somewhat thrown off by Matt Hardy's applause and cries of "wonderful", which seemed counter intuitive to his client's best interests. Despite Hammerstone's best efforts, he couldn't stop Allin from mounting a comeback, getting a run of quick moves together and then nailing a Coffin Drop to get the victory.
Winner - Darby Allin
Post match, Darby Allin celebrates his victory, when Sheamus enters the ring once again. HE LAYS OUT DARBY WITH A BROGUE KICK! Matt Hardy thinks about rushing in, but instead just pulls Darby out of the ring and leaves. Sheamus then turns his attention to Hammerstone, offering him a handshake, which he accepts far more warmly than Bear Country did. It seems like Sheamus is building a faction, and may have his eyes set on The House of Hardy. We return to the announce table.
MJ: 'Well, there isn't much for me to say, since the guy doing the recap did all the pondering for me. But Kevin, a rather brutal unprovoked attack on Darby Allin by Sheamus there, and straight after a hard fought victory.'
KN: 'Hey man, he didn't do it on purpose. Darby was just trying to dive out of the ring to escape and Sheamus saved him with his boot.'
MJ: 'Are you blind? Actually, considering you've not been watching for most of the evening, this shouldn't surprise me. Let's head back to the ring for our main event.'
Match 4
Brother Nero vs Captain Calzone (w/ General E Awesome)
"Broken" Matt was nowhere to be seen this time, I assume that he was tending to his injured protege, or he simply has faith in his brother to get the job done on his own. Corporal Truth was also nowhere to be seen, which could be for any number of reasons. As far as a main event goes, it would end up being an anti climax. Nero more or less dominated from the get go, because whilst Calzone is a no doubt charismatic presence, a great wrestler he is not. Then, less than a minute into the match, General E Awesome entered the ring and smacked Brother Nero with a steel chair, for an immediate disqualification.
Winner - Brother Nero by DQ
The fans are rightfully chanting "bullshit" at this finish, and we shouldn't stand for this. We wouldn't if WWE did it. Well, we would, but we'd complain about it behind our keyboards before tuning in next week anyway. SATIRE!
General E Awesome poses smugly with the chair, but before he can do any more damage, Magnus James leaves the commentary table and gets a microphone.
MJ: 'How dare you ruin my main event. How dare you deprive the fans and readers at home of good old fashioned, honest wrestling. I won't stand for it, and I have a suitable punishment for you. Three shows from now, once all the other great teams joining NWA Stable are introduced, I know will be part of the NWA Stable Wars Title Tournament as The Army of Truth's representative. And I'm delighted to reveal your opponent. He will be none other than Brother Nero.'
General E Awesome is not happy at this turn of events, but he probably shouldn't have attacked a potential title tournament with a chair if he didn't want to face the consequences. Brother Nero returns to his feet, but before he can get his hands on the General he escapes the ring. But Captain Calzone wasn't so lucky, taking a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb to send the fans home happy. Or at least less angry than they were a minute ago. We return to the announcers table where Magnus James has returned to his position.
MJ: 'I'm sorry fans that you didn't get the exciting main event you anticipated, but I hope that you still got your money's worth this evening. Not that any of you paid for this, its on the internet for free. Any last thoughts Kevin before we wrap this up?'
Kevin isn't paying attention, as he's on the phone.
KN: 'Yeah Scott, tell 'em not to put the extra spicy sauce on the wings this time. I'm 62 years old man and can't take that shit anymore. And say hi to Sonjay if you see him. Later.'
MJ: 'Kevin, you haven't been paying any attention again. At the very least did you tell Scott to get my popcorn chicken?'
KN: 'Yeah, of course man
His facial expression suggests otherwise.
MJ: We're out of time. I'd like to thank my colleague for the minimal contribution he made. And I'd like to thank you all for tuning in again. Next week we'll have the debuts of the Smartly Dressed Gentlemen and whatever Sheamus's group is called. Until then, goodnight.'
NWA Stable Wars Show 2: Woo-Hoo
Our show opens, after many pyros and indoor fireworks, at the announce desk. Magnus James is at ringside alongside the leader of Lucha Things, "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash.
MJ: 'Wrestling fans, welcome to NWA Stables Wars. This week we are joined by Kevin Nash, who was on lucha business last week.
KN: 'Hey, what's up MJ.'
MJ: 'Kevin, I have to ask, there was some signs of discontent in your camp last week when you revealed Octagon Jr as your fourth member. Has the team now jelled?'
KN: 'Yeah, that's my bad, I can't tell one lucha guy from the next. But he won, Rey kicked Juvi's ass and Dominik ripped Samoa Joe a new one. We had a great week.'
MJ: 'I think you mean Walter.'
KN: 'Oh yeah. Well, they're basically the same guy so not a big deal.'
MJ: 'I don't think he'd appreciate that, but I'm sure he's used to the comparisons by now. We have an action packed hour filled with lots of wrestling action, so let's head to the ring to see The Bucks Of Youth take on Bear Country.'
KN: 'Vanilla midgets versus fat guys, my favourite.'
Match 1
The Bucks Of Youth (Matt Buck and Nick Buck) (w/ Broken Matt Hardy) vs Bear Country (Bear Boulder and Bear Bronson)
This ended up being a fairly standard extended showcase for the Bucks of Youth, albeit one where they had to rely more on their team work to counteract the size difference. Every time they tried to go it alone, Bear Country would simply overwhelm them with their size, but couldn't match the Bucks on team work. Matt Hardy largely did nothing, other than applauding some of the manoeuvres with cries of "Wonderful". The match ended with an inverted version of More Bang For Your Buck, with a DDT used to take down Bronson before he took the move and ate the pin.
Winners - The Bucks Of Youth
Post match, after the winners leave, Sheamus enters the arena. He doesn't work here! Or anywhere for that matter. He gets in the ring and he's saying something to Bear Country. Too bad they didn't mic the ring so we can hear them. He offers them a handshake and they tentatively accept, before leaving together. Whatever Sheamus said, he managed to convince them of something. We then return to the announce table.
MJ: 'A big win for the Bucks of Youth in their debut. And some interesting post match developments, with the arrival of Sheamus and his new alliance with Bear Country. Do you see them as a threat to Lucha Things?'
KN: 'Heh heh, that Matt Hardy. Priceless.'
MJ: 'You weren't paying any attention to the match, were you?'
KN: 'There was a match?'
MJ: 'I think that answers all my questions. Let's get back to the ring for our second match, involving The Army Of Truth. And Kevin, try not to just pay attention to R-Truth.'
KN: 'You can't tell me what to do (does crotch chop).
MJ: 'I miss D'Von.'
Match 2
The Army Of Truth (General E Awesome, Major Jimmy and Sgt Spyder) (w/Corporal Truth) vs Peter Avalon, Brandon Cutler and Michael Nakazawa
Corporal Truth gave some odd orders when it came to this match. He ordered that Major Jimmy and Sgt Spyder do not tag in, instead only getting involved when their makeshift opponents attempted any double or triple teams. And his faith in General E Awesome was repaid, as he looked strong and make light work of the opposition. One Skull Crushing Finale later and that was enough to put away Nakazaka.
Winners - The Army Of Truth
Post match, Corporal Truth leads everyone in a song. Yes, a song. It wasn't anything new or notable, however, but a recital of the Star Spangled Banner, with Truth butchering some of the lyrics. What was notable was Truth doing the entire thing without a microphone, again making me wish Stable Wars would invest in putting some kind of mic in that ring. Seriously, that's the second time I've had to say this in this recap. Get it together wrestling promoters. We return to the announce table.
MJ: 'The Army of Truth make it look easy as they pick up the win. Kevin, you can sit down now.'
KN: '(sits down) My bad bro. I just love my country and man can that guy sing. He's like one of those rapper guys.'
MJ: 'He was once a rapper guy. Now he thinks he's a general. I hope that the Army of Truth can convince him otherwise. In the meantime, let's take a look at a video sent to us by another faction coming to Stable Wars. And they dress to impress.'
We are at a country club of some kind. A quick overview of the facility shows a lot of old, grey haired millionaires, drinking scotch and forgetting the fact that their lives are rather empty. In a private room, we see one man siting by the fire. A familiar, well educated one. Damien Sandow.'
DS: 'Greetings. Thank you for joining me at this, the most privileged of clubs. It is certainly not the sort of place that the unwashed masses can attend. But that is not why I have brought you here. You want to know why I, the most esteemed intellectual in all of professional wrestling has chosen to declare his arrival in NWA Stable Wars. Some say that it is because the writer of this show has a character in his novel, who speaks in a formal manner not dissimilar to myself, and this provides practice for said character. That is of course complete balderdash. I am here of my own free will, to cleanse the National Wrestling Alliance and all of its subjects of their impurities.
But I do not do this alone. As dictated by the powers that be, I must forge alliances. This is something that I have done, seeking out old friends and prospects to aid in my endeavour. Let me introduce you to them via the magic of split screen.
First of all, I have located a most esteemed gentleman from the town of Kentucky. A 'Kentucky Gentleman' by the name of Chuck Taylor (a picture of Taylor is shown). He will be joined by his tag team partner, a man I do not hold in as high regard, but he is joining us regardless as a footman. That man is Trent Beretta (Beretta's picture is shown). Needless to say, only one of those men will be entering this club anytime soon.
Next, I located a man who I consider to be a future World champion. A man who has been hard done by, simply because he so happens to be married to a beautiful woman. And I will help him reach his full potential. He is none other than Michael Bennett (Bennett's photo is shown).
Finally, I have located both a prospect and a bodyguard. A man who will ensure that no harm will come to yours truly, whilst also possessing the values of truth, honesty and common decency. He is not just a man, but a bull, and will soon rule the NWA Stable Wars landscape. He was formerly known by a detestable name, not of his choice, which was Brooks Jensen. But now he is reborn as Dan "The Man" Buchanan! (Buchanan's photo is shown)
Our exchange of information is now complete, other than the name of this group. We are to be known as the Smartly Dressed Gentlemen. And we will become the top group in NWA Stable Wars. You are welcome.'
We return to the NWA Stable Wars arena, where our next match is about to begin.
Match 3
Darby Allin (w/ "Broken" Matt Hardy) vs Alexander Hammerstone
This match was, as you would expect, a battle of power versus speed. Hammerstone made a big impression in this one, attacking Allin before the bell and tossing his around like a rag doll. He was somewhat thrown off by Matt Hardy's applause and cries of "wonderful", which seemed counter intuitive to his client's best interests. Despite Hammerstone's best efforts, he couldn't stop Allin from mounting a comeback, getting a run of quick moves together and then nailing a Coffin Drop to get the victory.
Winner - Darby Allin
Post match, Darby Allin celebrates his victory, when Sheamus enters the ring once again. HE LAYS OUT DARBY WITH A BROGUE KICK! Matt Hardy thinks about rushing in, but instead just pulls Darby out of the ring and leaves. Sheamus then turns his attention to Hammerstone, offering him a handshake, which he accepts far more warmly than Bear Country did. It seems like Sheamus is building a faction, and may have his eyes set on The House of Hardy. We return to the announce table.
MJ: 'Well, there isn't much for me to say, since the guy doing the recap did all the pondering for me. But Kevin, a rather brutal unprovoked attack on Darby Allin by Sheamus there, and straight after a hard fought victory.'
KN: 'Hey man, he didn't do it on purpose. Darby was just trying to dive out of the ring to escape and Sheamus saved him with his boot.'
MJ: 'Are you blind? Actually, considering you've not been watching for most of the evening, this shouldn't surprise me. Let's head back to the ring for our main event.'
Match 4
Brother Nero vs Captain Calzone (w/ General E Awesome)
"Broken" Matt was nowhere to be seen this time, I assume that he was tending to his injured protege, or he simply has faith in his brother to get the job done on his own. Corporal Truth was also nowhere to be seen, which could be for any number of reasons. As far as a main event goes, it would end up being an anti climax. Nero more or less dominated from the get go, because whilst Calzone is a no doubt charismatic presence, a great wrestler he is not. Then, less than a minute into the match, General E Awesome entered the ring and smacked Brother Nero with a steel chair, for an immediate disqualification.
Winner - Brother Nero by DQ
The fans are rightfully chanting "bullshit" at this finish, and we shouldn't stand for this. We wouldn't if WWE did it. Well, we would, but we'd complain about it behind our keyboards before tuning in next week anyway. SATIRE!
General E Awesome poses smugly with the chair, but before he can do any more damage, Magnus James leaves the commentary table and gets a microphone.
MJ: 'How dare you ruin my main event. How dare you deprive the fans and readers at home of good old fashioned, honest wrestling. I won't stand for it, and I have a suitable punishment for you. Three shows from now, once all the other great teams joining NWA Stable are introduced, I know will be part of the NWA Stable Wars Title Tournament as The Army of Truth's representative. And I'm delighted to reveal your opponent. He will be none other than Brother Nero.'
General E Awesome is not happy at this turn of events, but he probably shouldn't have attacked a potential title tournament with a chair if he didn't want to face the consequences. Brother Nero returns to his feet, but before he can get his hands on the General he escapes the ring. But Captain Calzone wasn't so lucky, taking a Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb to send the fans home happy. Or at least less angry than they were a minute ago. We return to the announcers table where Magnus James has returned to his position.
MJ: 'I'm sorry fans that you didn't get the exciting main event you anticipated, but I hope that you still got your money's worth this evening. Not that any of you paid for this, its on the internet for free. Any last thoughts Kevin before we wrap this up?'
Kevin isn't paying attention, as he's on the phone.
KN: 'Yeah Scott, tell 'em not to put the extra spicy sauce on the wings this time. I'm 62 years old man and can't take that shit anymore. And say hi to Sonjay if you see him. Later.'
MJ: 'Kevin, you haven't been paying any attention again. At the very least did you tell Scott to get my popcorn chicken?'
KN: 'Yeah, of course man
His facial expression suggests otherwise.
MJ: We're out of time. I'd like to thank my colleague for the minimal contribution he made. And I'd like to thank you all for tuning in again. Next week we'll have the debuts of the Smartly Dressed Gentlemen and whatever Sheamus's group is called. Until then, goodnight.'
